As part of this blog there will be a regular , easy to follow how to... guide for everyday people on how to interact, communicate and, hopefully by the end of the series, socialise with the most awkward people in our great nation.
RULE 1: While strutting your stuff at the local discotheque village hall or socially gathering, that happens to be located at a mutual friend’s house, sipping on a particularly cool glass of coolade please refrain from slurring the words “(hiccup) you’re the sensible one aren’t you (drools profusely to the disgust of passersby).” These are the words that stick in the bad memories section of the awkward girl/guy’s brain, right next to the time they called the teacher mum and the time they got picked on by a 12-year-old....when they were 22.
Now we know you didn’t mean to offend anyone. You were drunk and even if you weren’t your brain has never been connected to your mouth but YOU F***ING IDIOT. Think, THINK BEFORE YOU EVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN.
Now. Gather, gather. Gain composure. Wipe the fresh spit from your face, take two steps back so said awkward girl/guy is not right up in your business. Remember you are completely in the wrong and here’s why:
- The recent outburst you witnessed shows that they are not alogether sensible and actually might not be all there.
- The person in question has wasted up to 10 minutes of her/his time in conversation with you so they can't be too rational.
- If you constantly remind someone of how different and uncool they are at a social outing they will feel completely inadequate and blend even more into the wallpaper than they were before.
Apologise.
Shake Hands.
Begin a discussion on the benefits and downfalls of chocolate spread straight from the jar.
You are one step closer to socialising with the socially inadequate.
