Last Year's New Year Resolution Update

2010 is winding down and what have we done. In between working, school, caring, sharing and all the other things that make up our everyday lives I think it's been a productive year. My personal new year's resolution was to, essentially, be a better feminist. 

Now that is quite a general phrase to throw around but what I basically mean is that I wanted to become a feminist in more than words. I wanted to be active, to engage with other feminists and to be proud to call myself one.

Over the year I have actually met that challenge in numerous ways. I signed myself up to help at the Ladyfest Ten festival in London, which if you didn't go to was amazing, in late 2009. Before I knew it I was swept up in a feminist wave revolving around websites, cupcakes and spreadsheets. Ask any Ladyfester, that's basically how the lead up to the festival can be described. 

Although we did all work ourselves into the ground and have probably done irreparable damage to our careers or education it was, break out the tissues, life changing. We put on a 3 day cross cultural event in London from absolutely nothing that featured some great acts, workshops, performers and speakers.

I met some cool girls who I'm still friends with now and we're still thinking of ways to spread our underground feminist message into popular discourse. Whether we're setting up self defence classes, running film nights or djing at club nights we're all still involved. We're all still visible as feminists which allows other girls to feel comfortable to come up and talk to us.

I've also found time to go to numerous feminist conferences which have always been an eye opener to say the least. My first march was this year's Million Women Rise. Even though it was spring time it was freezing cold and that didn't stop thousands of women coming out to march.

To wind down the year I responded to an ad looking for girls looking to form a riot grrrl band. now a few months later we're on our way to becoming a fully fledged band with songs and everything.

To conclude that whole essay was just an example that although for most people 2010 was a write off regarding jobs, careers or their futures in general, you can feel better by changing one aspect of your life. Of course I could always do more but those steps have helped me immensely.

My New Year's resolution, excluding the usual lose weight become a better person etc, is to volunteer at charity. This website is a great resource for ideas.

I Know Christmas Has Gone But...

.... as Christmas songs go this pretty much fits the mood of the country now.

Christmas: The Aftermath

Not my actual family

So it's Boxing Day and I'm currently sitting in my living watching Jamie Oliver with my mum while my dad is sleeping in his armchair. I hope you all enjoyed Christmas day whatever you were doing.

I spent yesterday discussing the racism that occurs in Jamaica, student fees benefit scroungers and how much we hate the government.

It was quite a varied Christmas day conversation really.

Let's Start a Band and Get Outta This Place

So I have finally started a band and it was all by chance. In September in the run up to Ladyfest Ten online magazine The Girls Are set up a battle of the bands competition as a fundraiser for Ladyfest Ten. The ultimate band would win a place on the Ladyfest Ten set list. I thought it was a great idea and when saw a message looking for girls that wanted to start a riot grrrl band for the competition I immediately replied.

After all these years who would have thought that being able to set up a band would be so easy. No more playing quietly alone in my room, writing songs no one else will here. Now I'm in a real life band.

I met up with Ray and we both had similar ideas of what kind of music we wanted to make and decided to meet up again for a jam session. A few weeks later we did and we successful wrote two songs, which are think are awesome.

Since it was just us two we had to advertise for other members. A few gumtree posts later and we're starting to look like a fully formed band that consist of Ray, lead guitar, Claudia, bass, me, rhythm guitar, Harry, vocals and Sophie, drums.

We don't actually have a name yet but we won't let that stop us. Hopefully after we practise a bit more, we can get a bit tighter and actually gig. So exciting.

SIS IUD Stay In School Cuz It's The Best

Hello non-readers, all two of you who accidentally clicked on the wrong link and ended up here. A blog in limbo. Too tedious to update regularly but too necessary to delete forever.

It's been a while but I've decided to stop my procrastination here by updating this blog which is actually just another form of procrastination. I need to pack my bags to go back home for Christmas in 2 hours but instead I've decided to do something else entirely. Makes sense don't it.

Anywho there have been a lot of changes in my life for instance I am half way through a 6 month NCTJ journalism course to fulfil my dream of actually getting paid to write something, imagine the thought. I go to college at noSWeat Journalism School in Clerkenwell. It's full of the loveliest journos you could meet, all journos are nice in opinion anyway, and it is a diploma that I need.

There are a lot of things about it that make you wonder about your life choices. Is one course really worth £4000 considering the funny little things that keep happening. Either way it's not really an option to bail out now and it is a useful course so I'll see how it goes.

Updates are fun aren't they. Let's see how often I blog here till I forget about it or get bored.

For Feminists Who Want a Laugh....

... I just got an anonymous email from a troll. You know the kind of email it was passive aggressive, belittling and most importantly grammatically incorrect. Yes it is a fact that every troll on the internet is so consumed with hatred and bitterness that they lost the ability to spell. It just falls right out of their angry little heads. So while I should probably be more worried about where this guy got my personal email address from I'll just laugh about it for no. I hope you do too.



Hi,

You like feminism among other things. I wonder why? Which kind of feminism?

1. Feminism which treat female as "equal" because of political
correctness (PC) or
2. feminism which gives preferential treatment like in employment,
because they cannot compute with open opportunities out in real world or
3. Feminism which prefer fast tracking women with out proper education
or training just for being women or
4. Feminism which gives pass marks in colleges because, women do like to
be treated as weak and feeble beings or
5. Are you looking for real and an adulterated "equality" ?

Like: to be given enterance exam or proper assesment at every level
against male and even other women. Do you really like women to be equal
with out BUT or ha and you don't wnat to be treated superficially at
every level as capable of doing a given job with their own effort with
out hiding behind colleagues.

If you are trying to mention women give birth ....: please don't, women
and most female animals give birth for millions of years. If you have
cats, rats, or if you watch documentary about mammals, they give birth
because that is their biological physical make up. They raise their off
spring with out huhaha.

The biggest problem with feminist women is that they want to to be given
preferential treatment in employment and promotion and so on. They don't
know what to do with the money they make. They recieve child benefit
from state, or they collect from two or more fathers for children, they
are making in P/T or F/T job and some prostitutions. All thse money flow
to their account BUT they don't want to spend on their children instead :

Plastic surgery, boob enhancement, buttock jobs, nose job, vagina
enhancement?, 200 pair of chooses and sex toy of this and that sort.

Men are making money to win over women and went to war to win other
lands and send to their family and fight against viciously other men. To
keep their female companion to themselves.

Can you see the contrast behind why women are making money and women
make money? In short men make money to impress women and feed their
family and women make money for superficial ego.

I know as a woman who profited from PC you can't see my point,

Good luck any way with your feminism,

LBA

Imagine, if you have a male son and he is rejected from school or
college place because because of his gender and again lets us say he
succeeded to complete his education and was rejected to priority to his
female friends who were sleeping around while he was banging his head in
library? Let us say you reachead your middle aged years and see your
husband if you marry and all your male relatives are with out work and
become drug dealers and criminals.

Is that the equality WI preaching to desperate women out there?

Good luck any way, with your superficial equality!!!!!

Bye

REVIEW: UK Feminista Summer School

So like every other feminist around, well the ones who managed to get tickets, I headed down to the UK Feminista Summer School last weekend for a couple of feminist filled days.

Tired and grumpy on Saturday morning I questioned whether I should bother going to another feminist event. Will there be anything new? Don't I know it all already? Won't it be better to stay in my bed all day?

I brushed away my negative thoughts and made my way to the event held in Amnesty International's flash looking centre.

Walking through the stalls of leaflets, sign up sheets, merchandise and books (I tried to resist but I had to pick up the Equality Illusion by UK Feminista creator Kat Banyard) I wasn't entirely sure what kind of weekend this would be turn out to be.

The weekend started off with a panel discussion on the importance of feminist organising and why we are still not as equal as society would have us believe. The summer school was set up as a way to teach feminist groups and individuals how to set up their own campaigns or groups. The idea being that they will go back to their towns creating feminist activism in every corner of the UK. It's ambitious but possible if enthusiasm, numbers and how re-politicised people are anything to go by.

The days were split up into workshops and big panel discussion in which we were treated to a talk on campaigning from a key member of Barack Obama's team, taught how to run a Ladyfest, taught how to fundraise and learnt how to use stand up comedy to be confident in business amongst many other things.

The weekend ended with a Feminist Question Time style discussion featuring Julie Bindel, Dr Aisha Gill, Sunder Katwala and Karon Monaghon QC which was chaired by Bidisha. The discussion became slightly heated on a few occasions, feminist gatherings are like family reunions someone's going to get drunk and tell grandma to piss off but you don't who, when Julie Bindel complained about the treatment of sex workers by anthropologists and when someone in the crowd shouted out that men must feel left out from this discussion.

UK Feminista have done a lot in a short space of time to help raise the profile of feminist activism, create a link between the dislocated feminist groups in the UK and also raise the profile of feminist concerns. We still have a long way to go and to quote one passionate feminist at the summer school "We need a tsunami of feminism not another wave."

London Zine Symposium

I'm hoping to head down to the London Zine Symposium on May 29th.

I've always liked the idea of zines but never really got into them before.

Now that I want to make a Don't Dance Her Down Boys zine my interest in the scene has grown.

I'm hoping to pick up some really cool music zines as well as a few crafty ones.

www.londonzinesymposium.org.uk

Art Star

I want to do a lot of things in my youth.

I want to make music purely for myself, selfish I know

I want to make a zine

I want to write poetry

I want to make my own clothes

I want to have fun.

I always feel like I lack creativity even though I'm a writer by trade

I want to be myself

I want to be someone else

I want to travel the world

I want to never want for anything

I want to be an art star .... but where to start.

The Feminist Rapper

I just think this is immensely cool.

UK Feminista Launch

Originally posted at Uplift Magazine

Up to a week prior to the UK Feminista launch party I felt a tad overwhelmed by what it could be. The site aims to become a bridge for the myriad of feminist organisations in the UK and, if they succeed in their mission, UK Feminista could become a vital part in re-establishing the new feminist wave in the 21st Century. That’s a lot to be a part of, but nevertheless I picked up my overwhelmed self and headed down to The Women’s Library to see what was going on.

The day started out with a cup of tea in The Women’s Library cafe and a chance to peruse the variety of stalls promoting different organisations. As I walked through the crowd I kept getting that feeling that I knew pretty much half of the people I was walking by. I guess I go to too many of these events!

The conference started off downstairs in a small seminar room that struggled to contain the hundreds of feminists within. Acting as Chair was the Guardian’s Hannah Pool, who described her disappointment at the answers of celebrities when she asked them the simple question ‘are you a feminist?’ (The answers were mostly “No”, by the way). UK Feminista creator, Kat Banyard, then came to the podium to discuss the organisation and what they hope to achieve.

A number of speakers then came along to talk about their various organisations including Object, Abortion Rights, Birmingham Fems, Anti-Porn London, Latin American Women’s Rights and Unite the Union. While interesting, the speakers took up a lot of time – which I personally thought would have been allocated to focusing on the smaller feminist groups and individual activists who came.

The whole room then dispersed into three groups; grassroots feminists groups, individual activists and the ‘reclaim feminism’ campaign. Here we were meant to be sharing the problems we had and how to resolve them. I joined the grassroots feminists group, as part of Ladyfest Ten. There was a very short amount of time allocated to this section and, while we tried to make the best of it, there was just too much to do.

After the focus groups everyone congregated in the seminar room to give feedback on what they had talked about and direct questions to the creators of UK Feminista. It all got a bit tense, as it always seems to when groups meet up. An older woman at the back claimed that UK Feminista had alienated less technically able women as their website only works on the newest browser. Another woman took issue with a statement Elizabeth Carola, of Anti Porn London, had made earlier about pro-sex groups claiming she had ‘dissed’ them.

This, it has to be said, put a downer on my day… but looking back what did I really expect? It will not take one website and one idea to unite the feminist movement. It is an unrealistic idea to think that feminism will – or ever has been – entirely united. Someone will always disagree and someone will always feel left out. It is, unfortunately, how the world works. This will probably be one of the main obstacles in UK Feminista’s way. They need to remain as a bridge for feminists to connect with each other and nothing more. If one group seems to have more promotion or special treatment than the other then UK Feminista will never take off the ground.

The day ended with a short performance by The Muffia, two scantily dressed woman revealing their lady gardens to the world and doing, spot on, impressions of the caricatures of Loose Women. While we may not always be able to get along, at least we can all find humour in a good muff joke!

My Life List

Feminism and Friends Don't Always Mix

I've held feminist beliefs probably since I was about fourteen but I don't talk about feminism with my uni friends because they just don't care about it and have basically concluded from my beliefs, and my never ending single status, that I must be a man hater.

The funny thing is that I think girls that sympathise with misogny and put down feminism are generally the ones who really spout some hateful things about feminism but I digress.

I love my friends but I want more feminist friends. I want to have more in common with those closest to me and be able to go to more feminist events. I want to be able to discuss different theories without people thinking I'm weird. I want to be able to call out misogyny when I see it without getting called out for I don't know what myself. I want to speak out more and not care what other people say or think.

I'm a calm person so while someone may not agree with me or get angry when I try to tell them the truth I know I wouldn't lose my cool or make a fool out of myself like they usually do.

I guess becoming a feminist is a life long learning curve, I learnt that on The View of all places, and i'm more than willing to stick along for the ride.

Bicycle, Bicycle!!!

Ever since I've been meeting more feminists I've been hearing more and more about the joys of cycling.

I kinda want to join the girl gang because it looks so fun and most importantly to me it will save me loads of money, I like to be thrifty.

Unfortunately my gut instincts go completely the other way.

First of all I'm scared of being flattened by an unaware lorry driver. That's always the first thing I think of when I think of cycling.

Secondly I'm not sure that bicycle seats are made to fit the, how shall I put it, more curvaceous behind.

Tell me if I'm wrong but at the moment that's what holding me back from being "on two wheels baby".

This Makes Me Happy

Working Out The Workout

I have started going to the gym regularly.

Sometimes I feel like I'm doing the best thing for my health but at other times I feel like I'm giving into the unsettling ideas of womanhood that keep many women in a state of perpetual dieting.

I know I need to get healthy, I should start with cutting down on the junk food but, but I always feel like that insecurity could take over and turn the initial idea of being healthy into something sinister.

I don't want to be like others and spend the rest of my life worrying about what I look like.

I feel like I have controlled it for the most part but I still think about it an lot and hate that I've let my insecurities get the better of me.

I believe there is no easy way to overcome this feeling and I know practically every woman goes through it at least once in their live so I'll just take one day at a time and I'll keep going to the gym.

Mary Jane's Not A Virgin Anymore

This movie epitomises the Riot Grrrl movement and I've only just found out about it.

I'm Trying To Think of Way To Talk To Her Without Being Disrespectful

The number of times I've been out at a club enjoying myself with my friends and a misogynistic, homophobic or hateful song comes on.

I feel completely disrespected when this happens but everyone else keeps dancing leaving me standing like a statute (as another misogynist called Dappy would say).

I always wanted to respond to this feeling in a intelligent and appropriate way.

Cocorosie got there before me (well I probably never was going to get there).

Nothing Feels Better Than Being 8,000 Women Strong

Courtesy of Stephen Simpson Photography

Happy International Women's Day everyone.

I went to the annual Million Women Rise march that stands up to domestic violence against women this week.

It was probably the most inspiring scene I've ever witnessed.

Seeing girls as young as fourteen marching next to sisters that were marching in the seventies is amazing and shows that the feminist community is not as split as some would have you believe.

While I was so happy all day I couldn't help but feel like I should be doing more.

I feel like after four years of acknowledging my feminist beliefs I'm only just starting to incorporate them into my life. I now feel like I'm ready to tell my friends, tell off unaware sexists that I meet on a day to day basis

I've definitely been inspired to be more involved, go to more marches, make Ladyfest Ten the best Ladyfest ever and generally be a better person.

p.s. I want to start by getting one of those sex and the city style gold necklaces that just says "feminist". If anyone knows where I can acquire one of those I will be a very happy bunny.

I've Been Lost Out In The Woods For A While, Sorry I Didn't Call...

So I haven't posted on this blog for a while for various reasons.

First of all my idea for Diary of a Wallflower has changed dramtically. It started out as a kind of passive aggressive rant about being a shy, barely visible girl in a fast paced, image obssessed world.

It slowly changed to being more just about me, being honest and talking about my view of the world. 

Then I forgot about it for a while due to other commintments and high workloads.

The main reason I couldn't work up the courage to get back to blogging here is mainly because the thought of talking about myself on a daily basis was immensely frightening for me.

I am not a person that tells people their feelings, I don't write them down in a diary, I barely even tell people what I do each day. It's something that I always used to do at the height of my shyest years, those between 14-19, in the belief that I would get ridiculed by any little piece of information I gave out.
I have been stuck in this rut for a while and I don't want to be anymore so here I am.

This is me, and this will be me from now on.

Picture courtsey of Lindsay Willard