Art Star

I want to do a lot of things in my youth.

I want to make music purely for myself, selfish I know

I want to make a zine

I want to write poetry

I want to make my own clothes

I want to have fun.

I always feel like I lack creativity even though I'm a writer by trade

I want to be myself

I want to be someone else

I want to travel the world

I want to never want for anything

I want to be an art star .... but where to start.

My Life List

Bicycle, Bicycle!!!

Ever since I've been meeting more feminists I've been hearing more and more about the joys of cycling.

I kinda want to join the girl gang because it looks so fun and most importantly to me it will save me loads of money, I like to be thrifty.

Unfortunately my gut instincts go completely the other way.

First of all I'm scared of being flattened by an unaware lorry driver. That's always the first thing I think of when I think of cycling.

Secondly I'm not sure that bicycle seats are made to fit the, how shall I put it, more curvaceous behind.

Tell me if I'm wrong but at the moment that's what holding me back from being "on two wheels baby".

Working Out The Workout

I have started going to the gym regularly.

Sometimes I feel like I'm doing the best thing for my health but at other times I feel like I'm giving into the unsettling ideas of womanhood that keep many women in a state of perpetual dieting.

I know I need to get healthy, I should start with cutting down on the junk food but, but I always feel like that insecurity could take over and turn the initial idea of being healthy into something sinister.

I don't want to be like others and spend the rest of my life worrying about what I look like.

I feel like I have controlled it for the most part but I still think about it an lot and hate that I've let my insecurities get the better of me.

I believe there is no easy way to overcome this feeling and I know practically every woman goes through it at least once in their live so I'll just take one day at a time and I'll keep going to the gym.

I've Been Lost Out In The Woods For A While, Sorry I Didn't Call...

So I haven't posted on this blog for a while for various reasons.

First of all my idea for Diary of a Wallflower has changed dramtically. It started out as a kind of passive aggressive rant about being a shy, barely visible girl in a fast paced, image obssessed world.

It slowly changed to being more just about me, being honest and talking about my view of the world. 

Then I forgot about it for a while due to other commintments and high workloads.

The main reason I couldn't work up the courage to get back to blogging here is mainly because the thought of talking about myself on a daily basis was immensely frightening for me.

I am not a person that tells people their feelings, I don't write them down in a diary, I barely even tell people what I do each day. It's something that I always used to do at the height of my shyest years, those between 14-19, in the belief that I would get ridiculed by any little piece of information I gave out.
I have been stuck in this rut for a while and I don't want to be anymore so here I am.

This is me, and this will be me from now on.

Picture courtsey of Lindsay Willard